The pressure is on…who?

Posted by lapazfarm on January 6th, 2008 filed in Random Ramblings

Ready or not, it’s time to get cranking! School starts back up tomorrow!

And while I am mentally SOOOOO ready to get back into a routine, I am still a little behind in getting all of the “stuff” organized in a way that I hope will make it run more smoothly.

I don’t know why, but I keep thinking if I could just get everything arranged “just so,” then our days will sail along smoothly without the usual bumps and stalls. The geography center is dusted and polished, the math center has been re-worked, the science materials have changed rooms entirely, books have been shuffled from here to there and back again (Superboy is thrilled with that chore, let me tell you…). Some people are obsessive planners, I am an obsessive re-arranger.

But we are all just fooling ourselves, because no matter how well-planned or neatly arranged, the truth is that our days will never run smoothly unless we Moms make a conscious daily effort to make that happen. We are the ring-masters, the ones running the show, and it is all on us. And that is a lot of pressure!

I balk at that, I really do.

Shouldn’t more of the pressure lie on the students? Shouldn’t our children be more independent? Shouldn’t they have a cheerful attitude and a solid work-ethic? At least our older ones?

Well, yes and no.

All of that can and does happen. But not without us Moms leading the way, by both actively teaching these skills and (here is the tough part) by example.

  • Can we really expect our children to shun screen time in favor of books if we are constantly checking our email, reading message boards, or *gasp* blogging throughout the school day?
  • Can we admonish our children to finish their work in a timely way when we can barely get dinner on the table by nightfall?
  • Can we honestly reprimand our kids for letting projects go unfinished if they can look around and see a half-dozen incomplete projects (sewing, crafting, writing, cleaning) of our own making?
  • Can we chide our children for letting their work pile up until it is overwhelming when we are dealing with a mountain of neglected laundry every saturday?

In short, if we are disorganized, scattered dilettantes, can we really expect anything better of our children?

Now, before you think I am trying to act like I’ve got it all together, let me admit to you something. Every single thing on that list…that’s me. Or at least it has been.

I want to do better this year. I want to be a good example to my children. I want to be able to teach them to work hard and strive for excellence without feeling like a hypocrite.

So…

  • …along with all of this re-arranging of the school supplies comes a re-arranging of my own priorities. I need to put my job as wife-mother-teacher first.
  • …along with all of this making of schedules and calenders to order my days, comes an effort to be mentally and emotionally “present” to my children NOW, not always in “just a minute.”
  • …along with all of this purging of household clutter comes a purging of interior clutter. I need to let go of all of the distractions, and spend some time doing the things that make me feel peaceful. Reviving that neglected prayer time is at the top of my list.

Only then, when my own attitude is properly arranged, can I expect the same from my children.

And then, perhaps, I will have the homeschool I dream about.


15 Responses to “The pressure is on…who?”

  1. Rebecca Says:
    January 6th, 2008 at 10:40 am

    I am tempted to wait until things are perfect before beginning lessons time and time again. I so appreciate the reminders to be present and to be a good example. I am getting started tomorrow even though we are in the middle of a major decluttering effort that I could easily spend all day doing for quite some time.

    Thanks Theresa!

  2. nina Says:
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:59 am

    I am working on the interior clutter as well as the physical. Being present for my children was tops on my list last year and I never quite got it right. “Just a minute” speaks volumes about my priorities. That is why this year I am streamlining and simplifying all the inputs in my life, mainly my reading material both on-line and in books. Thanks for sharing this, my comment has helped me clarify one of the many reasons that I am limiting my reading material. I thought it was all about me but in reality doing this will make me more present for my kids.

    Good luck with the start of the school. I hope your days go as planned. I like to remember a motto I heard once

    “prior planning prevents poor performance.” :)

  3. mrs darling Says:
    January 6th, 2008 at 12:17 pm

    I congratulate you on recognizing what really makes a school operate. SO many people spend all their time researching or organizing and never truly teach! The same goes for housecleaning; they sort stuff and shuffle stuff and yet their house is still never clean. At some point one just has to get down to the real business of maintaining a schedule and actually teaching or cleanning whichever the case may be.

  4. Maryan Says:
    January 6th, 2008 at 5:39 pm

    GREAT POINTS!! Thanks Theresa!

  5. Angela, Mother Crone Says:
    January 6th, 2008 at 7:57 pm

    Thank you for this! I, too, struggle with some of those issues, and am striving to be a better example. Just as I was getting ready to comment, my daughter came in and asked if I would practice lines with her (for the play). It only took fifteen minutes to read through with her a few times, yet my first instinct was to say “after I do this.” Too often, I never get back to them and the moment is lost. but by taking those few minutes right then, I have not only met her needs, but I am not carrying around the guilt of “never having enough time.” I really do, I just have to make better choices!

    I wish you all a wonderfully productive and focused year. You certainly deserve it !

  6. Dana Says:
    January 6th, 2008 at 11:23 pm

    Ouch! :-) A few of your statements cut a little too close to home. And Mrs Darling’s comment about planning and never actually teaching hit home, too. I do SO much planning and am getting better at actually then TEACHING it, too!

    We started back to school on Wednesday and it is going very well… so far!

  7. childsplay Says:
    January 7th, 2008 at 12:21 am

    I’ve always wanted to use the word dilettantes in a sentence, and never managed to work it in anywhere, like you just did. :)

    You make some really good points. I’m a rather ‘relaxed homeschooler’, but I think you hit the nail on the head with why I am comfortable in our daily routine, and letting life be a great teacher. Being responsible and living life well in turn teaches us all how to be stewards over every part of our lives…learning included. Much like the opposite is true.

    You reminded me of the point in Thomas Jefferson Education, where he points out that the best way to teach is to live it and model it for your kids, instead of just teach at them.

  8. Annette Says:
    January 7th, 2008 at 9:53 pm

    This really cuts to the quick, and hits on many thoughts I’ve been having lately. I’ve really been feeling convicted about how I spend my time lately, and how that lines up with my expectations of my children.

  9. Cheryl Says:
    January 8th, 2008 at 1:07 pm

    Yeah. Me too.

  10. barrellfullofmonkeys Says:
    January 9th, 2008 at 7:49 am

    Ow, ow, ow!! You’ve hit the nail on the head for me as well. Thanks for the great kick in the pants reminder. I need to focus greatly on interior clutter. That has been on my heart lately, and this summed up everything I need to get going on. Thanks for a great post!

  11. Lori Says:
    January 15th, 2008 at 11:29 am

    Wow, Theresa, this is a great and convicting post. You are so right - don’t we often ask children to do as we say and not as we do?

    For me, it’s making sure I always speak to them respectfully since I’m asking them to treat each other that way. Thanks for the reminder!

  12. ~L~ Says:
    January 16th, 2008 at 6:24 pm

    Ouch. This really hit home for me. I think I shall print this out.

  13. Summer Says:
    January 16th, 2008 at 8:39 pm

    Lots to think about there, thank you for writing this.

  14. Heather Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 3:53 pm

    Hi!

    WOW! What a great post! I hope it’s ok that I link to it on my blog! :-)

    ~Heather

  15. lapazfarm Says:
    January 17th, 2008 at 3:55 pm

    It’s fine, Heather. As long as you say nice things!LOL!

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