Unschooling Inspiration (and reassurance)
I just came across a fascinating article by Tracy Million Simmons in Live Free Learn Free (issue 8 ) in which Tracy gives us a list of things to think about when we find ourselves doubting if unschooling can work. Here is an excerpt to whet your appetite:
2. Forget about what we are NOT doing. Far too often the focus of unschooling becomes what we are not doing. When we find ourselves starting to describe our philosophy in negative terms (we do not follow a curriculum, we do not do worksheets, we do not limit our learning to school hours, we do not force the memorization of facts and figures), we need to stop and consider the message we are communicating. Unschooling isn’t about creating a vast landscape of things not done. It’s about doing. We interact with our children and respect them as individuals. We follow their interests, and we follow our own. We explore and learn alongside them. We are open to new ideas and experiences in a multitude of shapes and forms. We act as facilitators when their interests lead them to subjects we cannot personally help them with. As unschoolers we do, rather than do not.
Isn’t all too true that we often see unschooling described in terms of what it is NOT. Can you imagine trying to define a flower by saying “well, it isn’t a rock, and it isn’t a tree, and it isn’t a car…” Ridiculous! I find it far more helpful to hear more about what unschooling IS from folks who are doing it. Here is another excerpt:
4. Consider everything educational. We must stop dividing the world into activities that we deem educational and activities we deem not. Everything we do – whether we call it work, play, veg time, or study – has value. Their minds are growing and processing information, each at a particular and unique rate and process. Don’t panic when all they do is play. Look intensely at that play and know that there is value in it.
This to me is the very heart of unschooling, isn’t it? That we are learning all the time?
5. Let them lead, but don’t be afraid to offer some direction. Just because we have decided not to set the agenda, doesn’t mean we, as parents, are without good ideas. It’s okay to introduce new topics and ideas for daily activities, but also be prepared to change course and let go when our ideas are not well received. If it was a really good idea (in your mind) go ahead and do it yourself, without the kids.
This speaks to the idea of “mindful unschooling,” that it isn’t about ignoring your children and leaving them to their own devices, but about knowing what and when to offer in terms of guidance, including that all-important strewing.
And, though I could just go ahead and excerpt the whole article, I found this one point particularly comforting:
9. Don’t let anyone tell you there is a right way or wrong way to unschool. Know that even the most seasoned unschooling parent will not necessarily have the answers you are looking for. Keep your mind open to ideas and concepts, but don’t let yourself feel threatened by those more set in their ways. Assuming there are hard and set rules, after all, for unschooling, would be defeating its very purpose.
Hooray for that!I don’t have to toss the baby out with the bathwater just because some experienced unschooler describes it in a way that makes me feel uncomfortable. I can define it myself, adapting it to my own family, and it is still genuine.
I only wish I had this list last year when I made my first foray into unschooling. Things might have gone better then.
Go ahead and read the whole article here. Then come on back and let’s chat!
Filed under: Random Ramblings
Thanks for wharing all of these thoughts. It is good to hear so many different views and ideas regarding education and homeschooling.
I really liked the whole article – I keep on thinking that I need to find time to read more at that website… What spoke to me was the section on defining unschooling as doing, not as not doing. Very true.
Someone said to me at dinner the other night, that he thought my kids were clever and intelligent but couldn’t figure out how since we did so little schoolowork ( he knows our family well!). I think he was thinking of all we are not doing and not of all we DO.
Thanks for this… going to read the whole article now…!
I find myself doing the same thing every spring. We are always gung-ho at the beginning of the school year and then come spring everyone (including me) gets spring fever.
I am going to read the article in the morning and will come back when I am a little bit more awake.
Chrissy, that is an excellent point. It’s one of the things that makes me wonder why I don’t just go ahead and start off the year unschooling since I am going to end up there anyway. It sure would save a lot of guilt about all of the things we planned in august but dropped by sept!LOL!
Thank you, again! I feel like my family (at least the kids and I) are on a roller coaster… some days are so focused and others are so laid back. A “visitor” would have a hard time discerning that we were schooling on those relaxed days.
“Don’t let anyone tell you there is a right way or wrong way to unschool. Know that even the most seasoned unschooling parent will not necessarily have the answers you are looking for. Keep your mind open to ideas and concepts, but don’t let yourself feel threatened by those more set in their ways. Assuming there are hard and set rules, after all, for unschooling, would be defeating its very purpose.”
And isn’t this the case with ANY method of choice, that we don’t let ourselves be talked out of something because it didn’t work for someone else!! Love all your quotes today and the article, thank you for sharing them!
I haven’t read the whole article yet, but I’m going to have to… I love the excerpts. Lots of wisdom there in terms of unschooling, and homeschooling in general. Thanks for posting this…
Great article! I particularly liked what she had to say about keeping room in your life for your own learning experiences and passions.
http://momof3feistykids.wordpress.com/
You’ve made some really good points here, or excerpted some, or something. Thanks. I think the one about not letting anyone else tell you you are doing it wrong is really important. Self-confidence can be a bit of a problem for lots of people.
And I’m trying to work out that doing more of what I love stuff. How to fit that in with being present for my kid is trickier but then she loves some of what I love anyway.
Theresa, I liked what you said in Steph’s comment box about being so busy planning that you sometimes forgot to just live passionately. That resonated with me since I do the same thing.
I also liked the way you describe not letting someone else’s definition box you in. That’s the point I came to after struggling with it for a long time. My unschool or homeschool isn’t going to look like anyone else’s. Not that I can’t glean wisdom and practical tips (your blog helped me work with Kieron a bit better than I would have otherwise) but that it has to be our own unique way of doing it, not someone else’s.
It’s funny, but I am a little immersed in a group of HSers here that would consider themselves unschoolers. However, they can be a wee bit scary at times- the ‘Mafia-mom’ type, if you know what I mean. Being the stubborn person I am (blame it on my genes) I don’t let on that ‘unschooling’ is one of our seasons around here, and with all the discussion and thoughts roaming my mind, could be one that sticks. I just know that these ladies have a very definite idea of what ‘unschooling’ is and what it ISN”T! It is that same old theme resurfacing. So how very wonderful it is to come here and read quotes like this one
“Don’t let anyone tell you there is a right way or wrong way to unschool. Know that even the most seasoned unschooling parent will not necessarily have the answers you are looking for. Keep your mind open to ideas and concepts, but don’t let yourself feel threatened by those more set in their ways. Assuming there are hard and set rules, after all, for unschooling, would be defeating its very purpose.”
BTW, does Tigger like to knit Jove? That is one thing I have learned to do passionately in front of my kids that my daughter has definitely caught!
Cool! Just found your website when googling my name. What a delight to find myself quoted. Looking forward to checking out the rest of your site.